PICNICS

Truth: While picnicking has been around since the late 1600's and was finally popularized following the French revolution, today we can see picnics making a comeback. Hipsters love to dine al fresco. What could be better than to lay out on the grass on a blanket that's "been in your family for generations" with a vintage picnic basket, eat all organic food, and drink some PBR's? To you I say, nothing is better. That is unless you lay smack in the middle of the fuckin' park for all the world to see. I mean, what's the point of being that cool and not having anyone to see it?

Hearsay: Picnics are wonderful. I think even Adolph Hitler would agree with me on that one. In all seriousness, I myself will admit to partaking in the occasional picnic if the weather is nice enough, and there may or may not have been a picnic basket dating back to the 1950's involved. There's just something so liberating to having the wind in your hair whilst eating a piece of tofu sushi that I made back at my "flat" before setting out on this spring-day escapade. To kick off your sweaty Toms and run your toes through the cool grass just can't be beat.

BS and Speculation: With the increase in temperature in central Ohio, I have been seeing more and more ridiculously cool-looking people laying about on the lawns of Goodale Park. The simple reality of the situation is that we can't blame the Hip culture for partaking in picnics. I mean, anyone would do it if they had the copious amounts of free time that these youngsters seem to have; it's just their motives that I question. Are they doing it to be seen by the non-hipster so they may make them feel inferior by pretending to be inferior themselves? This is a phenomenon I shall never understand -- but until then I say, let them have their lawns, and their spring afternoons, and their juice boxes of wine. Dammit, let them live.